Date: July 27th 2025

Here is another little more in depth introduction to myself and my life.

I'm 17, im doing ATAR at school, so this website is most definately procastination. I live with my mum in a really small rural town with one shop, and the highest demographic is probaly elderly people. I take the bus for 3 hours a day, and in that time I get to see the most beautiful sunrises every morning in winter over the mountains, with pink skies that the sun dips through and its so so gorgeous. I'm an aquarious sun, virgo moon and taurus rising and my favourite colour is purple, pink, yellow, orange in that order ☾⁺✧

For the past year I've been trying to lessen my screen time but I have a habit of always replacing one sight with another, I replaced instagram with pinterest, then I deleted pinterest and replaced it with youtube, ew, and then I tried to replace youtube with long vidoes on yourtube(may as well be somewhat productive right), that didnt work so I tried to not go on it then ended up going on facebook(which is even worse, exept for some reason the reels are so much better then youtube, cause its just like foraging, farms, gardening tips, cosy cooking and arty things which is annoying cause I love all those things) so I have decided that I can not get off my phone or screen or socials, because somehow it has dug itself so deeply in my mind I can never escape it, only replace it. So I think, I should admit my fate, and instead decide to learn a new skill with my screen time and create my own blog. Which is something I have always, always wanted to do. I finally will. For me, I hate what socials do to my brain, they make me more irritable, more judgmental, more negative, I get sucked into it and can spend such a long time wasting my time away, at least with this, every sigle decision will be mine, as angry as trying to put an image underneath my title is and it not working makes me want to pull my hair out, at least Im not doomscrolling, this was I will create something beautiful, that is perfectly mine and my new happy place, whearas my phone is my hell.

I dont expect people to read the random rambelings of a 17 year old girl who's drownding in school work but I want to make myself rember all of the things I love, am passionate about and what makes me, me.

My life plan, or at least plan for next year is becomeing more and more detailed as the days go on its terrifying, 139 days till my final exams, and then I'll be free. The other night I started to feel overwhelmed about it all, applying for scholarships, homework, applying for uni's, well one uni otherwise I won't go to the others because I wont be able to live in the city, but it's good to have options I guess. I started to feel a littl crazy, and then my mum came in at the perfect time when all of my desisions where running around in my head, she sat down on the ground, in my room, near me and told me that if I wanted I could become a gardener, or live in the forest property that we have that my mum bought when she was younger and we havnt been able to move to yet and become a fairy and live off wild celery and mushrooms. She said I could take a gap year or go to uni straight away next year, she said I could start growing mushrooms on our block, become a full time environmnetal activist, or plant rows of blueberrys and become a blueberry farmer who wears overalls. To be honest all of these options seem like the dream to me, and I realised and felt the comfort of the lack of stress and pressure wash over me, if I burn out completey and fail my exams, don't get into uni to do my primamy teaching course their are always other options that I will feel just as happy doing.

But I still have my biggest dream which I'm going to overshare with you, is to become a primary teacher at a waldorf, steiner or nature school, that is everything i've ever wanted, to work with kids, to be able to listen to them and care for them and help them, to paint, draw, teach, I love all of those things. I want to use my creativity and artsyness as well as love for nautre and plants and the environment. I have never gone to a alternative school like that, but my cousins did and I will always remeber the stories they would tell from there, meditation time, the beautiful colourings they would do, how they knew how to cook, sew, knit, felting do all the things I wanted so desperatly to do but had no idea how. Ive heard there's some contention around them but, I've seen how much the people I know and love, loved it and how they still look back preferring that to any school.

My musings so far are very work and school focused which is quite annying but I think these are the things I need to put into words to remind myself, what I want to do and why I want to do it so that when I start to feel overwhelmed by the pressure I have it all written down, that greatness and being succsessful all come form helping others and finding peace.

I also tried strawberry-green tea today, which was a strange sensory experience that made me want strawberry tea byitself maybe not with green tea.

My favourite films

Twilight, I feel safe enough on this sight to say this without fear I think, has always been my favourite, will always be, watched for the first time when I was 11 and from that day on I have never been the same and it changed my brain chemistry, I've probably watched it over 20 times, could quote ever word and will. Also! recently watched with my boyfriend for the first time and I think he loved my live preformance.

Enchanted, my favourite childhood movie, if I could play any disney princess it would be Giselle

Penelope, I only watched for the first time the other week and oh my goodness Im in love, Penenlope is the person I aspire to be in every way(as well as her wardrobe)

Practical magic, because it makes me happy

Amelie, because it makes me feel wonder and I found out if one of my teachers favourite movies and she is probaly 60 which makes me so happy

Watership down, bright eyes will forever live in my heart

The whole twilight sage honestly, especially new moon which my boyfriend got halfway through before wating to go to sleep

My superstitions

peacock feathers inside is bad luck

two spoons on the counter means a baby is coming

knife to floor means a man to the door

walking under ladders is bad luck

black cats arn't bad luck thats only so we hate witches

honey and lemon is as cure all

throw salt over your shoulder for luck

shoes on the table is the worst of all

Baking

I'm definatley not the best at baking, I dont think I've ever had a cookie that tasted good but I absaloutly love baking, my favourite thing to bake are;

banana bread

carrot cake

lemon or orange poppy seed cake

Recently Ive been really really loving Alice Night, she has the most beautiful, fairy like voice, as if she were singing with hundreds of years of love and her music is so diffrent from my other music in her lyrics, she feels so self aware, like she refuses to put the blame on anyone else in her songs, the lyrics feel almost ambigious in a way, in how she sings about love, others and herself. Her music is like something out of a fairy tale.

I discovered Jenni Potts a couple of weeks ago and haven't been able to stop playing her old songs, they feel so heartbreaking and errie and I'm hanging on every word and long minor notes, my favourite song of hers is The Fourth.

Once I actally figure out how to code its going to get crazy round here, things I'm working on figuring out

Current Crochet for Tree Festival

Date: July 28th 2025

Im going to show my current crochet project that I have on the go at the moment, Its a pretty big one, for an tree planting organisation and the time I have to finish it by is the 15th of July so wish me luck

Basically, in my schol holdidays im going to this amazing festival where we plant around 1200-1500 trees for a weekend, theres lots of music and bands, really really yummy vegan food thats almost guaranteed to have cinnamon in it. I went last year with my boyfriend, and it was proably one of the best experinces of my life, it was so amazing, I got to be apart of the painting group and helped a bunch of littl kids paint on a water tank, there were all the lovliest little kids as well because of their eco, hippyish parents. The weekend felt like heaven, eventhough it was such intence physical labour, with planting so many trees its one of the most rewarding things i've ever done.

Which is why of course im going back again this year, I'm a volunteer again this year, but have more responsability this year, there was this very offical sheets document that I was invited into, it had all my jobs and details and it so cool, felt a bit like a grown up. This year I get to be apart of the arts helper as well as sinage, and washing up and what not.

My mums frined and I who I love very dearly, we are working on a group art peice which in my head right now I'm not quite sure about but I turst her. It's dragonfly themed because at the salt lake near where were panting there will be thousands of beautiful dragonflies. The festival is almost a bit of a hippy rave which is why we are crocheting in bright, multicolour, fluro so that it will light up with the fairylights when its haning up at night.

My role in it is to crochet the almost coaster flowers that the dragonflies which are from some old broken fairy lights I have, will sit on. As well as crocheting little kinda fluro green leaves.

I also have my own crochet project which I'm doing where I really want to prove myself to the group of really beautiful, kind, commpasionate activsts that I have things to offer to them. So im basically croceting circle mandalas and then within the mandala I'm going to have a letter in each one to spell out A C T I V A T E, which is the smallish orgnaisations name. I will then add tassels of a kind of dreamcatcher look with old clothes and scrap fabric and such which will come down off the ring, its kinda difficult to explain but ive finally started and im very happy with the begging. I don't yet have the hoops that I'm going to attach the mandala to which I think is going to be willow tree branches but I will keep updating when I have time.

Im feeling slightly overwhelmed about finishing it in time but its okay I will make it work and refuse to procastionate on it.

Diary Entry ✿ July 27

My favourite films

My superstitions

Baking

Diary Entry ✿ July 28

Current Crochet for Tree Festival