This morning I had peanut butter and dates for breakfast, sat outside in the winter sunshine in my red overalls and rainbow knitted jumper and listened to the birds for the first time in what feels like forever.
When I was around 10 my mum got a job working early mornings and so I needed to get up at 6 even though my school was not even 5 minutes away from my house, so she knew that I had woken up. I remember those mornings so specifically over alot of other school morning. 10 year old me would stay in her Jim jams make herself some tea, cause I've probably been drinking tea daily since I was 6, go and sit in the sun outside on my mum's chair, curl my legs up and read the little princess. And then walking to school, swinging my polka dot umbrella along side me. I remember those mornings so specially, the way the light would splay across the pages, and the dark green binding, I still cherish this book, it's probably one of the prettiest books I own with its green hardcover and black illustrations, I remember so many mornings like this and I can still hear the crack of the umbrella on the ground as I walked.
These memories make me feel so envious but also hopeful that, that is the state that I enjoy so much, and I have since I was so little, spending time with myself with these ordinary rituals.
My mornings of getting ready for school definitely arn't like that any more, there rhythmic, sometimes I get to call my sleepy boyfriend who is also meant to be getting ready for work, while I braid my hair, and those are the new memories of my school morning that I remember, waking up at 5:30 if I have to wash my hair, 6 if I don't. Packing each book and checking twice, grabbing the fruit as I run out the door and stuffing it in my bag. Waking my mum up at 10 till 7. The switch I didn't expect me waking her up, its interesting how things like that change with age.
I'm realising how little the amount of morning like this will become, my mum's extra loud yawns and ever morning without fail telling me how cold it is as she's bundelded up in her dressing gown and messy hair thats the same as mine. The ice on the car window, the sky still as dark as its dusk. Watching the sunrise over the sterling ranges, the little bit of peace before the rowdy kids get on the bus and I begin to reluctantly do homework for the long bus ride.
But today, my first day of the school holidays was Lovely, I got to spend the day by myself, I slept in till 9, I cleaned my backroom and my room, I planted some potatoes and pumpkins that were growing in the compost over to their own part of the garden, I said hello to the worms, I blasted Aurora on my stereo so the neighbours could be serenaded, I found a peppermint tea sache which made my day. Then at around 3 my mum who's a support care worker came home from work where she went to the tip shop and came home to drop off some things before going back out, the treasures are as follows: 2 big boxes of old books, a pair of welly boots for me and a gorgeous rocking chair that I excitedly cleaned, as well as a big cork board that she said I could make another dream board with!!!
The winter son shone so beautifully today and make the dewy grass glow and the damp trees leaves glisten, I think the winter son is most definitely my favourite of all the suns, not harsh, or to bright, it's like it warms up your bones after hiding away for a while and turning everything golden.
Today, I got dirt under my fingernals, sun on my face, twigs in my hair, flushed cheeks and the earth smells clean and the magpies are warbling and my soul felt like it slowed down. So I guess this post is a love letter to winter sun, sol, because she deserves all of my love today.
Lots of love,
- Nettle